When your heart catches up

Recently, I lost my stepfather.  Now I know, most of you are like, eh....stepparents suck.  I got lucky.  Both my mother and father married great people.  My mom remarried when i was 13.  His name is Keith.  He was a very big dude with an earring and a ponytail.  Carried a gun and loved my mom more than life itself.  He had an amazing sense of humor.  He taught my brother and I how to laugh at our own mistakes.  How to not be worried about others thoughts of us.  He came with no kids, or knowledge of kids.  But didn't hesitate to open his heart to us and marry the full package.  (interestingly enough, my husband did the same thing).  I had always asked my mom if there were any more Keith's out there for me.
Keith would sing with my mom in public places, he'd dance with her to elevator music.  He made her laugh all the time.  My mom is so beautiful and laughing just made her even more so. 
After many years, Keith became ill.  He has had several illnesses and perhaps through this blog I will share some of these diagnosis with you.
Keith James Doughty went to The Lord on December 16, 2014 at the young age of 61.  The doctors told us there wasn't much more they could do.  We called hospice, less than 24 hours later he was gone.
I have a brother who's currently living with my mom, a blessing in disguise.  However, he was there at Keiths worst and saw how bad he was.  His role, became to keep mom grounded.  'Mom, are you wearing shoes?  Mom, you need to eat.  Mom, what bills need to be paid?'  He drove her to the places that had to be visited.  His role, again, to take care of Mom.
I have a 20 year old daughter, that was his biggest buddy.  The only grandchild.  She's in her 2nd year of college.  During Thanksgiving Break he was in quarantine due to chemo treatments and she couldn't hug him.  She begged for 2 more weeks, get through finals, so she could see him again.  He was still in the hospital the day she came home for Christmas Break.  She never left his side.  She got 2 good days, lots of hugs, tears, and advice from her Granpa.  'Don't be sad, don't you be sad, well, maybe you can be a little sad, but don't you be sad!!!'
I think this is the longest holiday break of her life.  There were no gifts, no trees, no Thanksgiving, no Christmas. 
My role, make the phone calls, make the arrangements.  Make sure my brother knew where my mom needed to be and when.  My role, take care of the big stuff.  I carried the same pen and notebook around for 5 days.  Everything is in it, from phone numbers to carry out orders, to the list of songs played at the funeral.  My role, stay strong, no faultering.  Make sure every detail is right.  My role, the thank you cards.  These are slow going out and I'm sorry for that.  My role, do not flip out.

I stopped by my mom's house the other day to pick up something my daughter left at her home.  This was the first day after the holidays, she came home to an empty house.  My brother went back to work.  She was crying.  As I held her she said to me:
"Your brain can trick you into thinking he's still in the hospital, or at home taking a nap, or he is in the hospital.  But then your heart catches up and you realize that he's gone.'
She said 'How am I supposed to live without him?'
I do not have these answers, nor do I have the answers to my own questions.
My heart is catching up too.